Monday, May 12, 2008
I have been stuggling with what to do with myself. I have contemplated quiting my job and going on a bike tour, but I realize that I don't like that kind of riding. Of course I enjoy seeing the sites and just riding and exploring, but I actually don't like camping all that much and unless I rode with a group or a good friend, I don't think I would enjoy it. I like the freedom my road bike gives me. I don't want to be weighted down with equipment except for the essentials such as a repair kit, small multi- tool , some essential liquids and food for needed energy. My bike is light and geared just right for this area, but it isn't a tour bike. Nemo is a thoroughbred and not a mule. I was thinking of doing long day trips to cool destinations that had a nice hotel and restaurant. I think that would be more enjoyable. I could ride and be free and then enjoy the comfort and security of nice lodgings at night. Perhaps a small guided tour that stopped at bed and breakfasts. Something fun. Perhaps I just need a friend. Though I am needing a change, I have been thinking about quiting my job I have been at for almost 6 years. This isn't the immediate answer, but possibly a long term goal with needed planning. I did check to see how much I would get from my small 401K and did the calculations of approximately my long term expenses if I did want to cross America, but right now, it would be a huge gamble to come back to a month or so of having my bills paid, but with no job. Better think this one out. I do want to do something, and I can feel the doors of change starting to swing open to new opportunities. Nothing will happen if I don't take the initiative and do the research and planning. I will at some point have to make a decision as I am not happy and for my mental and emotional health, I need something new and positive. I love my bike. Perhaps I am just bored and lonesome, and just need a change. Hopefully this isn't me trying to sabotage myself because I am sad about my up coming divorce. Being separated for over a year now has really taken me on a long emotional roller coaster and I think I just need to feel different and have a new way of experiencing life. I am now 50 and I keep saying that, but I feel if I don't do something, I am going to rot, or die of high blood pressure, heart disease, and all the rests that goes with this melancholy.